Our idea of beauty often comes from watching our moms when we were little. Today’s generations and even past generations were fixated on the idea that being thin meant everything. My whole life, I have watched my mom struggle with her weight after having me and my brother. Her entire perspective on her body changed from positive to negative. She didn’t like the way she looked. I watched my mom go on diet after diet. She struggled so much to find a peaceful balance with her weight. I couldn’t believe this woman, my MOM, who is strong, compassionate and beautiful could hate the way she looked. Whenever I would look up at her, I had stars in my eyes. I always saw how beautiful my mom was and I was so confused as a little girl why she was constantly punishing herself with strict diets just to lose a few pounds. She was always waiting to be happy.
Growing up, I adapted to this lifestyle. I became obsessed with my weight. I made sure I was hiding my curves under clothes and I always felt ashamed of them and I even lost a friend because of it. Although I was guided by this mentality most of my life, the past couple of years has given me a different perspective on how I view my body. I went through a few of my own struggles that led me to have epiphanies about my life and I now view my body from a different perspective.
Don’t Wait For Happiness
This was a huge breakthrough for me. I came to the realization one day that I was so sick of waiting to fulfill everything I wanted to do in life. I was sick of not being me, I was sick of the way I felt about myself, my relationships, my clothes and feeling sorry for myself. I wanted to start feeling happiness NOW. So I did the opposite of what everyone had been telling me my whole life. I started admiring the parts of myself that I hated. Now, you can’t get me away from a mirror!
I used to push my body and mind to its breaking point through dieting so I could fit into the pretty dresses at Forever 21. I believed that I would reach happiness once I could fit into those dresses. I was never able to reach my goal and therefore happiness was never in my grasp. Understanding that life can be taken away so quickly makes you realize that every day you should be living like it’s your last. I know it’s easier said than done but don’t wait to fit into certain clothes or to look a certain way. Wear the skinny jeans you’re too afraid to put on, go to the beach and wear that cute-ass bathing suit, go to concerts and wear that sexy dress. Don’t let your frustration about your body get in the way of your happiness. Work towards your goals and be happy NOW 🙂
When I was a little girl, I often didn’t like looking in the mirror because I hated the reflection staring back at me. I would point out all the things I didn’t like and doing that every day for years engraved that information in my head. Even compliments from friends, family, and strangers didn’t make me believe I was beautiful. Consistently going through every negative thought about yourself will eventually become habit and habits are incredibly hard to break.
It’s taken me more than 20 years to do this. For all the young women reading this, please learn from my mistakes! You are beautiful and you need to remind yourself of that EVERY. DAY. Look at yourself in the mirror, touch your body, your face and your hair. Look for the features that you love about yourself. It can be anything from the feel of your skin, your body shape, the colour of your eyes, how long your hair is, anything! Even if it’s just starting with one feature, that’s all you need to start with until you find another feature that you like 🙂
Don’t Let The Assholes Get You Down
Just remember who’s wearing the crown. Normal people don’t go around hurting other people, there is something wrong with THEM and not YOU. I was crossing the road in a plaza with my mom and this old fart in a super old minivan tried to hit us. He was close enough that I reached out and hit his minivan with my fist. He stopped immediately and got out. I proceeded to yell at him that we were crossing the road and we had to move out of the way in order to avoid being struck by his minivan. While his elderly father is sitting in the passenger seat, he yelled back that ‘he’s driving’ and that we ‘should shut up fat sluts’.
People really need to get more clever with trying to make fun of “bigger” women because it’s honestly a joke that this still happens. Fat is a substance that is in every person on Earth. So to call someone “fat” isn’t proper use of the word. There are so many body positive women out there that it’s difficult to put down another when we stick together! Body positivity is becoming the norm and influencers, models and companies are working together to ensure that EVERY body is celebrated 🙂
By learning and understanding my mom’s struggle with weight loss and how she viewed her body, I was able to conquer my own insecurities and view my body differently. When I look in the mirror, I can only see the potential in my body. Yes, I strive for happiness today, yes, I look for new features to love, and NO, I don’t let the assholes get me down 😉
Did you struggle with your self-image growing up? How were you able to turn your perspective on your body from negative to positive? Share your feedback below!
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